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By_uL

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Posts : 488
Join date : 2010-06-09
Age : 106
Location : New York City

PostSubject: Conflict Resolution Guidelines & Tips   Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:23 am

Hi guys,

We are a young faction and to become older will require growth. Growth by its very nature is painful. Changes are made and they will be instituted with the best of intentions, but they too can and probably will be painful. Please be prepared to deal with growth and changes.

Below I have pasted some basic rules but i prefer to call them guidelines, and I feel that if we are to deal with changes, growth and conflict arising from those and other issues we should have some basic foundation from which to deal with those future conflicts.

Fair fighting: Ground rules

Remain calm. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint.

Express feelings in words, not actions.
Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. If you start to feel so angry or upset that you feel you may lose control, take a "time out" and do something to help yourself feel steadier.

Be specific about what is bothering you. Vague complaints are hard to work on.

Deal with only one issue at a time. Don't introduce other topics until each is fully discussed. This avoids the "kitchen sink" effect where people throw in all their complaints while not allowing anything to be resolved.

No "hitting below the belt." Attacking areas of personal sensitivity creates an atmosphere of distrust, anger, and vulnerability.

Avoid accusations. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. Instead, talk about how someone's actions made you feel

Don't generalize. Avoid words like "never" or "always." Such generalizations are usually inaccurate and will heighten tensions.

Avoid "make believe." Exaggerating or inventing a complaint - or your feelings about it - will prevent the real issues from surfacing. Stick with the facts and your honest feelings.

Don't stockpile. Storing up lots of grievances and hurt feelings over time is counterproductive. It's almost impossible to deal with numerous old problems for which interpretations may differ. Try to deal with problems as they arise.

Avoid clamming up. When one person becomes silent and stops responding to the other, frustration and anger can result. Positive results can only be attained with two-way communication.

-------------------------------TIPS---------------------------------


This faction is about a game. Games are intended to be fun. Competition is good as it builds character. However, we are all real and different people. We all have real life happening around us as we play our game and build our "toon". We may not get along, we may not like what each other is saying. Our real life issues may cause us to lash out and attack each other, we must remember this is a game and its meant to be fun.

Here are a few tips I found, I hope they will allow you to enjoy the game a bit more and in doing so maybe make some friends.

Tips for managing and resolving conflict

Managing and resolving conflict requires emotional maturity, self-control, and empathy. It can be tricky, frustrating, and even frightening. You can ensure that the process is as positive as possible by sticking to the following conflict resolution guidelines:

Make the relationship your priority. Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.

Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.

Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don't want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.

Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.

Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.

the above is from http://helpguide.org/mental/eq8_conflict_resolution.htm[b]

I will be adding other stuff as I am moved to be helpful as I can be.

Thank you wolfenrix for providing this.

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azaleamantra

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Posts : 39
Join date : 2011-01-15
Location : Cornwall UK

PostSubject: Re: Conflict Resolution Guidelines & Tips   Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:59 am

brilliant to arrive at a faction with such clear conflict resolution info !! Thank you
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